What Emily never said
by Errol's Feather
Summary: What Emily over the years never managed to tell Lorelai when it came to her feelings.


_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Gimore Girls and I don't make any money from it.

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><p><em><strong>What Emily never said<strong>_

Over the years there was a lot of things Emily Gilmore never told her daughter. Most of them were because she never got the chance and when she finally did it was too late.

No one, not even her beloved husband knew how much she cried when she knew her little girl would not come back. Even if she to others, even to her daughter seemed like a harsh mother she did love Lorelai more than anything. In fact she had since she for the first time was put in her arms at the hospital right after giving birth to her.

She had high hopes from her already back then. Maybe that was why she had pushed her so hard, maybe that was why it went wrong. Maybe that was why she lost her little girl.

Emily wanted to go after her that night she left, tell her she was sorry and beg her to come back, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Not after the harsh words that had gotten exchanged between the two of them.

The old lady would always regret she didn't as she due to her own pride would never see her granddaughter grow, take her first steps or speak her first words. She until recent years only saw them once a year during Christmas and that wasn't much to speak of.

She sighed looking at a picture from when Lorelai was younger, her stubborn little girl. Spite the fact she never finished school due to having Rory. Spite the fact that she never became a debutant, she had managed to get so far due to working hard.

Emily would never deny she was proud of her, not only for working hard, but for being a greater mother than she would ever be. She had a daughter that loved her, much unlike herself.

"Are you listening, ma," she heard Lorelai's voice in the other end of the phone, being woken back to reality.

"Yes, yes, you wanted to have lunch tomorrow?" Emily confirmed, surprised by the request of this.

"I did, is one okay?" Lorelai asked.

"One is fine," Emily said.

"Good see you then," said Lorelai, her voice sounded happy.

"You will," Emily said, her voice not showing any emotion, but she was smiling.

"And ma…" Lorelai stopped.

"Yes…?" Emily questioned, hoping there wasn't anything wrong.

"I love you," Lorelai said, her voice was quivering.

"I…" Emily wanted to say it back, but she couldn't get the words out.

"I know," said Lorelai and hung up, well aware her mother most likely felt the same even if the sentence was never finished.

"I love you too," Emily whispered, putting the phone down on the table. She did with all her heart, yet the words never seemed to be able to escape her lips. There was too much history between them. Still her actions sometimes spoke for her making Lorelai know how she felt.

Emily sighed, looking over at the old family painting on the wall; it seemed like yesterday, only it was decades since it was painted. One happy family it seemed, only that had been far from the fact already back then. Now they at least managed to be around each other and that had to count for something.

"I will always love you," she whispered, smiling a little at the painting. As there was something that would never change, no matter how much her daughter might mess up, Emily would always have a soft spot for her. After all she was her only child and the love of her life. She just wished she some day would managed to get the courage up to tell her that, if only just once. Just once would be all it took to make it all okay, she didn't know how, she just knew. After all she did know her little girl enough to know that her mother's love and approval was all she ever wanted. And one day she would give her that.

Little did she know that those three words, the three words Lorelai so desperately needed to hear would be spoken the next day as they parted after lunch. Unplanned and unprovoked, they would simply slip out, making Lorelai burst into tears of joy, hugging her. Emily would simply hold onto her, glad she finally managed to say what she wanted for so long. That would be the thing she would never regret.

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><p>Feeback always welcome and very much appreciated :o)<p> 


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